She had been waiting for me by the park entrance at 7:30, like every morning, with clockwork precision. Her long blonde locks were embellished with thousands of fresh snowflakes, sparkling like diamonds and glitter in the faint lemon-cream morning light. Wearing her cute polar bear earmuffs and white puffer jacket she was almost at one with the snow covered scenery. When she saw me rushing towards her around the corner, she rubbed her fur-mittened hands together and breathed a warm breath onto them to emphasise her scornful tone.
“You were taking your time. I’m frozen solid.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, my own cracked, frozen lips refusing to move and form any further words. She rubbed her Rudolph nose, and I noticed her flushed, rosy cheeks on her soft, milky skin. She was breathtakingly beautiful; my ultimate girl crush.
Also my best friend and very straight.
Not that I knew any of those labels back then. We were barely seventeen. The infinite number of different sexual orientations we have today did not exist back then. If I had been asked to talk about her in full honesty, I would have said things like, how I just envied her, looked up to her, wanted to be her or at least be close to her. I had no idea I was into girls. I didn’t even know I was into boys. I didn’t know much about sex at all or about anything really, while thinking I owned the world and was as wise as a two-hundred-year-old owl - in other words: a typical teenager.
Delilah. I was in love even with her name, her voice, the way she looked at me. And I knew or understood none of that.
“Are you feeling better?” she asked with gut-wrenching concern in her small voice as we started walking side by side with heavy steps in the few inches of fresh snow. It was only twelve hours ago, that I was weeping on her shoulders, because the guy I thought I was dating was not returning my calls or replying to my messages.
I didn’t want to go over the same stupid monologue; I had told her the previous night, about how I didn’t really care about him (I did), but how it was just pissing me off not knowing why he had cut me off. So, I just shrugged my shoulder. “I’ll get over it.”
She pulled on the straps of her rucksack absent-mindedly and stared ahead into the heavy snowfall. “I told Max, I hope you don’t mind... He thinks he ghosted you because you didn’t sleep with him.”
What? I had literally thought of every scenario possible, from me having said something stupid or done something stupid, to the unlikely scenario of him being in hospital or even dead. The only thing I have not considered was that it was rather something I did not do. I stopped in my tracks and stared at Lilah. “Surely, he understood that I was just not ready. We only had about five dates. And I’m too young.” Or more like just weighed down by stupid rules, stupid upbringing, expectations and standards.
She laughed at me, right into my face. In that moment, I hated her a little, how her ice cube eyes danced vividly at my expense. “Cass, he is two years older than us. You are very naïve to think nineteen-year-old lads wait for anything. They just move on and find someone more ‘willing’.”
I was floored, to put it mildly. My mind was drenched with a cold shower and rolling in ten inches of freezing snow. “But we did everything short of..., erm..., him sticking it in. I jerked him off. He came.” Ok, in hindsight he did much more to me than I did to him, but I was getting there, I was learning, I was ‘willing’. Just not yet. And I was preparing an awesome Christmas surprise for him...
“That’s not quite ‘everything short of’ she said with a knowing grimace, being aware of things that I obviously wasn’t.” Yup, in a picture dictionary, if you had looked up ‘naïve’, you would have found my stupid, dumbstruck face – with innocent fawn eyes and roughed-up, rebel-wannabe jet black hair.
But then again, all this information, or more like assumption, was coming from Max. And Max was far from a reliable source. He was a different kind of animal altogether; the ultimate bad boy, one Lilah had to hide from her parents. With a millionaire dad who owned at least half of the restaurants and bars in a hundred miles radius - that everyone suspected were only for laundering money - Max was really into fast cars and drugs. And girls.
None of that seemed to bother Delilah, or me, or any of his numerous groupies, because he had the face and body of a sex god. He was also an underwear model. And while he had the tendency to talk absolute bollox, this one I believed, because I’ve seen the photos in the magazines and catalogues. Like everyone else in our small town.
“Max is picking me up after school. I can tell Rick to tag along. You like him, don’t you? We can do something fun to cheer you up.” Fun? What kind of fun?
Rick was Max’s sidekick, like his arrogant little younger brother. Less mafioso, more in-your-face, annoying cunt. He had facial features that you wanted to rearrange with a well-aimed punch, but somehow snog his lips off at the same time.
“’Like’ is probably a bit of a stretch, ‘tolerate’ maybe. But yeah, I guess, I have nothing better to do.”
***
I’d only been waiting for a few minutes when Max’s sport modified Sub Impreza pulled up to the school gates - tire smoke, thumping bass and all. It was like a ridiculously clichéd teenage movie. All eyes were on me as I got into the car. I’d lie if I said I didn’t enjoy the attention. Both from the jealous bitches at the school gates and of those two in the car.
“Hi Cass,” they both greeted me as I plopped my ass on the cream leather back seats.
“Where’s Lilah?” Max inquired.
“Oh, it’s just little old me today.” I narrowed my eyes at them. “You think the two of you can entertain me today? Apparently, I need cheering up,” I giggled, toying with my new barbell tongue piercing, that hasn’t quite healed yet. It would have been a Christmas surprise for the prick who was now not returning my calls. I wanted to repay the favour for that last time, when he stuck his own stainless steel stud right into my clit, making me cum from oral the first time in my life, setting my standards pretty damn high. Well, I was sure, I’ll find a new use for it. I looked at those two bad boys with a whole new set of eyes and baffling, unfamiliar hunger in the pit of my stomach.
They shared a look that made me not want to come clean and leave my best friend behind. But nahh, I couldn’t do that to her. “She was held back over some after-school project. She will be five minutes.” It was about ten, that seemed maybe two. They wanted all the information about my new toy; where and when I had it done, how long it will take to heal and how much it hurt.
“More than you can fucking imagine.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Hell, yes.”
“Are you getting another one?”
“You bet.”
“Where?”
“I haven’t quite decided yet.” Yes, of course I have. Yes, there.
Luckily Lilah arrived, because... Well, the way they were feasting their eyes on me was making me a bit uncomfortable. And very wet. Me and my stupid resolution to not have sex till I was eighteen. What was I thinking? I was a right silly monkey. For context: I can't stand monkeys.
We cruised to the next town, twenty miles East, where the boys were less notorious and banned from less establishments.
“You got winter tires on, I hope,” I voiced my concern, when we skidded and slid a few times on the ungritted streets, failing to stop at a few lights.
“Of course,” Max grinned at me from the rear-view mirror. “Even got chains in the boot.” He didn’t sound too convincing, to be honest. I really hoped, even if he was stupid and irresponsible, at least his parents weren’t. Do twenty-year-olds take advice from their peeps, though? I highly doubted it.
“Chains?” Lilah questioned, giggling.
“Snow chains, babe,” Max shot her a funny look, recklessly turning around, looking at her on the back seat.
Max bought us all some cheap fast food that we ate in the car park with doors open, music blaring from the sub in the boot, drawing some attention. Then we were on the road again.
“Where are we going?” I asked, noticing the alarmingly disappearing infrastructure. Lilah patted my thigh with her cute little palm. She seemed to know the answer, and that made me relax a bit. I did not trust those two idiots one bit.
We were taken to an abandoned farmhouse that apparently belonged to Rick’s grandparents, who passed away nearly a decade ago, so technically it was partially his and they haven't quite decided what to do with it yet. Everything they said in general, I took with a pinch of salt and three shot of tequila. Or in this case with half a bottle of vodka, that I was sharing with Lilah. The boys were drinking something from a much smaller flask - to my relief.
We talked about the school project boring the boys to death, so they went on to suggest a crooked version of the truth or dare game. I don’t remember the rules, or how were we losing so much of our clothing so fast. All I remember is, that soon enough we were making naked snow angels - tits down, obviously - in the pitch dark night, illuminated only by the car’s blue halogen parking lights. And how fascinated the boys were with our very hard nipples that you could cut glass with. They wanted to touch them, play with them and put their lips around them, and of course we’d let them, because it was damn cold and their hands and lips were nice and warm.
There was also some naked running around the abandoned buildings, wearing nothing but dark clouds covering the moonlight. But that memory is a bit foggy or more like snow-stormy. I only recall Lilah’s fixation on some huge icicles hanging from the low roof of some outbuilding.
She thought it was a good idea to bring some into the car and show off her oral talent on the dripping, thick chunks of ice. I tried to warn her how fucking unhygienic that was, but she had thrown a snowball right into my face. “Eat some snow, Cass,” she giggled. Fucking nuts, she was.
The two pigs locked us out of the car and were having a five-minute fun at our expense, while we were hopping around banging on all the doors and trying to get in through the boot. “Why should we?” the wonky backwards letters spelled out on the steamed up side window. Eventually, Lilah’s trick with the icicles opened the doors to our shivering bodies.
I can’t remember whether the boys were naked before that or lost the last bits of their clothing just then, but - up to this day - I still do get flashbacks, how fucking hard they both were and how they were rubbing themselves so blatantly. Like a cheap, but very hot, undirected porn shot. We must have been pretty drunk to lose all our inhibitions and enjoy that show.
“Eye for an eye, you fucking teasing slut,” Max growled into Lilah’s ear, loud enough for all of us to hear and for me to cream the fancy leather seat. He instructed Rick to get a few more icicles. Lilah and me, we both knew where those were going to go and looked at each other - she was on the front seat now, me on the back. “Fuck!”
“I know a much better use for them,” the main villain rasped, then laughed at our discomfort.
“Oh, we don’t want all that melting mess in your precious car,” Lilah tried her weak argument, to try to get us out of the fate of having them stuff our pussies with rods of ice. Max has thrown his door open and walked to the boot with his hard cock bouncing with every determined step. “Lucky for us, we had boxing practice earlier,” he grinned, returning with a tall pile of towels. They smelled like sweat, musk, and sweet fucking testosterone.
I shared a look with Delilah ‘Are we still doing this?’ If I thought that her cheeks looked cute in the morning with the frost kissed redness, now there was absolute hellfire burning on those creamy cheeks. The scorching lava flow between my legs also seemed - for lack of a better word - very agreeable.
I don’t know whether it was the fact that Rick left his door wide open or some sort of fear or wild anticipation was creeping up on me, but I was shivering like a naked newborn bunny on snow. All the while, inside, I was burning up.
That raw dichotomy only intensified when Rick returned with a whole arsenal of ice weapons - from the skinny, pinkie-finger sized to the one that was like two finger thickness - their fingers, not my little girlie fingers.
“This one is for the little virgin one,” he joked, holding up the tiny one.
“Fucking dickhead,” I laughed, contemplating putting my foot into his mouth as he bent down to get into the car. He handed a handful over to the front seat to his best mate, then rolled up a towel for my neck and asked me if I was comfortable.
“Like a queen on spa day,” I beamed. Then, with a bit of anxiety, I added, “Remind me again, why are we doing this? It’s going to freeze our insides. Who wants that?”
“Me,” Max declared enthusiastically from the front seat. “And me,” Lilah chimed in, soldiering on with her winter toys.
“The drunk bitch on the front seat doesn’t have a say,” I growled, slapping my palm repetitively on the back of her seat, making her giggle like a possessed children’s toy.
“I promise, it will be fine,” she shouted as if she was going down a cave with famous last words. Then her syllables transmuted into loud moans and grunts. Oh, I so wanted to look, but Max’s shit-eating grin was reassuring enough to figure it wasn’t their first time enjoying this peculiar winter sport.
Rick circled my nipples first with the tip of the small icicle. It felt scratchy and smooth at the same time and, well, freezing cold. My buttons reacted by shrinking into tight balls like frightened little hedgehogs, minus the spines. I have really small, almost inverted nipples, so when he tried to pinch the mini, shrunken versions, he couldn’t. He had to pinch a small part of my areolas too, making me cry out. It wasn’t an unwelcome sensation, though. Quite the opposite. The more he did it, the more I felt like the Cookie Monster getting crumbs only. I wanted a whole cookie. And the jar.
“It’s going to melt, before...” I grumbled, sparking off a low grunting laugh within him.
“We have other ones,” he replied, thrilling something inside me. Obviously, he didn’t strictly mean 'icicles'. “but as you wish...” He lined up the small, dripping remnant between my burning pussy lips.