Halloween. We're wearing half-assed costumes.

I'm SEX OFFENDER BATMAN. I have only the mask, with a sleazy trench coat.

You're GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WONDER WOMAN; you have the tiara, bracelets and red boots, paired with a pencil skirt.

We go to a Pumpkin Patch scare maze out in the county before hitting the party.

Some dickhead Wolfman leaps out of the corn. I leap into action!

BIFF! SOCK! POW! OOF!

"Oh, fuck, sorry," I say.

"It's ... alright," Wolfman grunts, clutching his jewels. "Happens."

You pull me into the corn, our giggles and squeals masked by the rest of the crowd.