Chapter 28
As I lay there wrapped in my husband's arms, I wished I could turn back time. What I had done hurt me to my very soul, not to mention the pain it would cause Aaron. Can we survive this? Is there a ray of hope?
I knew it was time to face the music. It was hard, and I couldn't find the words. I was lost and could only silently sob as I struggled to hold back the tears.
Aaron cradled my head as it lay on his chest, running his fingers through my hair. He noticed my sobbing and asked, "Marisa, Honey, what's wrong, and why are you crying?
All I could do was wail, and the tears poured down my cheeks onto his chest. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't get a grip. Panic and fear overtook me. I couldn't respond and couldn't face him. I had to get away. I jumped up, ran out to the beach, into the water, and kept going. Mindlessly, I swam further out; a wave caught me, pummeled and tossed me around like a rag doll, and flung me back to shore. Choking and coughing up seawater, I sat in shock and stared out at the ocean as the tide washed around me.
Aaron ran up and wrapped his arms around me. He was speaking. I saw his lips move but couldn't hear him. I had shut down and tuned out.
Aaron picked me up, carried me back to the house, and laid me on the bed. I curled up into a fetal position and cried. I must have passed out, and when I awoke, Aaron was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had a cool, wet washcloth and gently wiped my face and eyes.
I don't know how long I was out. I looked up and saw tears, anguish, and fear on his face. He cradled me in his arms. I wanted to comfort him and take away the pain, but I was the cause.
I began to speak, but Aaron shushed me and said, I will run you a bath. I'll be back in a moment."
As I waited, I was still in a state of shock after my emotional break. He deserved better from me. I owed him the truth regardless of the consequences. I was still on edge but was determined to keep it together.
Aaron returned. "Let's get you up and in the tub. Once you're settled in, I'll fetch us both a drink and join you."
He leaned down and kissed my forehead, picked me up off the bed, carried me to the tub, and sat me down in the warm bath water. The tub was a Jacuzzi that faced the ocean. The sun was setting; a large sliding window was open, allowing a cool breeze to blow in off the gulf.
"Settle in. I'll be right back."
Aaron returned carrying two drinks and handed me one. "I fixed us a warm spiced rum. It should help settle your nerves."
"Aaron, I'm sorry, but I have to explain why I lost it."
Before I could say more, he said, "Alice, I know. We will talk later. For now, let's enjoy this sunset and put our issues on hold."
My god, he knows, and yet here he is. There is hope, and I have to hold on to that. I will do whatever it takes to keep this wonderful man in my life.
"Oh, Honey, I have to ask, is there a future for us?"
"Yes, love, we will discuss the how and why. We both need to get a grip on our emotions. I want you to relax. You've got sand in your hair, and I will bathe you."
He shampooed and rinsed my hair, soaped a washcloth, and gently washed me. Then helped me out of the tub and offered a towel. He said after I dried off to slip something on and meet him on the deck.
Chapter 29
It was time to face Aaron. I slipped on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I knew this moment would decide our future together, and with great apprehension, I walked out on the deck. To my surprise, Aaron sat at a candle-lit table. He stood, pulled out a chair, and invited me to sit. I was stunned this wasn't at all what I expected.
I sat as he picked up a chilled bottle of wine and poured us a glass. He sat across from me and said, "First of all, I had a sense on the way here that something was up, but how you greeted me put me at ease. Then, after we made love, you started crying, jumped up, and fled. I knew it was serious to cause that reaction. My god, Alice, you scared the hell out of me. As I ran after you, I realized that the pain and remorse you felt had to do with my initial concern. After I brought you back and laid you on the bed, you cried and fell asleep. You were out for hours. I was desperate to know why. While you were out, I called Nick and told him what happened. He said I should sit and told me what he knew. First, he said that girl loves you and told me about your conversation with him and Ann. He could see how ashamed you were and felt your sincerity. When you said you would confess everything, he offered you the beach house in hopes the environment would help."
"I then got a call from Stacy at Nick's behest. That conversation was enlightening, and she took the blame on herself. She cried throughout and told me everything. My god, she cares about you. She said that the one thing she was sure of was your love for me. The regret and pain were genuine, and she prayed I would find it in my heart to forgive you."
"Oh, Aaron, I was a fool and betrayed everything we hold dear." I struggled to control my emotions but was determined to remain calm and continued. "There is no excuse for what I did, and It's all on me. Earlier, when I lost it and ran, I was overwhelmed with fear of your reaction and panicked. I'm so sorry for being so weak that I couldn't face you. We had just made sweet love to each other. I was fearful it would be our last. I don't want to accept that and pray there is a chance for us."
"Alice, the day we got married, we made our vows. They seem appropriate to our conversation. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life. The part that is significant at this point is for better or worse. This is definitely the worst part."
I replied, "Yes, and I'm so sorry for being the reason. Please tell me what you want. I'll do whatever you decide. If you want a divorce, I won't fight it. If there is a chance you could forgive me, I pledge to you with all my heart to be true. You are my one and only. I want to have your children and grow old with you. I will spend every waking moment to earn back your respect and, more importantly, your trust."
Aaron smiled, "Alice, I believe you are sincere, and your remorse has convinced me of that. Some would tell me I'm a fool, and I am a fool in love with you. Nick asked me if I thought my life would be better with or without you. No question, I want you in my life. While you were out, I sat there and thought long and hard. Yes, your cheating hurt me deeply. I'm no cuckold, and I won't tolerate it. I won't ask for further details of your affair. I know enough. I ask for complete honesty with each other. If there is a problem, we deal with it. Trust will be an issue, and I will still have to travel. I must believe in your fidelity and commitment to us. I will have our lawyer prepare a prenup that will be fair to both of us. Are you OK with this so far?"
"Oh, yes, I will never make you regret this. I want only to erase your doubts and earn back your trust, respect, and, most importantly, your love."
Aaron stood up from his chair, walked to me, and offered his hand, "Alice, let's take a walk." and helped me out of my seat. We walked out onto the beach. A full moon illuminated the night, its light reflecting off the waves.
He took me in his arms and looked me in my eyes, "Alice, I forgive you. Let's put this behind us. There is no need to speak of this again. We start anew and think only of our future."
At that moment, my tears of despair turned to joy. "Oh, Aaron, I love you!"
Aaron's lips, so warm and tender, met mine; shutting my eyes, I leaned into him and savored the passion we shared and the joy of being back in his loving arms.
Chapter 30
We returned after a long leisurely stroll along the shore to the deck. The table had settings for five. Surprised, I looked at Aaron with a look of bewilderment.
He smiled, "All would be revealed."
He rang a bell and out walked Stacy with a covered dish, set it on the table, and lifted the lid. "I present a grilled halibut, fingerling potatoes, and braised asparagus." She winked at me, turned, and sauntered back inside.
I was shocked and exclaimed, "Aaron, what is happening?"
"Calm down, Marisa; there is a method to my madness. Now, trust me, please."
Shortly, Stacy returned, accompanied by Nick and Ann. I stood there, unsure how to react. Stacy walked up, hugged, and kissed me on the cheek. After exchanging hugs, Aaron poured everyone a glass of wine and announced, "Welcome all. Let's have a seat."
After everyone took a seat, Aaron remained standing. "Stacy, Ann, and Nick thank you three for helping us through this. Before we enjoy this delicious meal Stacy had catered for us, I propose a toast to new friends and a new beginning for Alice and me."
Aaron looked directly at me and smiled. I felt at ease with that and the warmth from everyone around me. Happily, I joined in as we raised and clinked our glasses, and with a heartfelt cheer from us all, we settled in to enjoy the food.
We finished with the meal and refreshed our wine. Aaron explained that he had made his decision after conversing with Nick, Ann, and Stacy. He called them back, and he and Stacy planned this evening's get-together. Again, he thanked them, saying he might have acted foolishly without their input and let his hurt and anger blind him.
I had an epiphany and knew there was something I needed to do. I stood and walked up to Aaron's side of the table. I asked him to stand before me. He stood and turned to face me. I removed my wedding rings and asked him to take them. Wide-eyed, he took the rings. I knelt before him and looked up into his eyes.
"Aaron, my love, before everyone here. I wish to reaffirm my vow to you." I took his hands in mine.
"I, Alice, take thee Aaron to be my wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and there do I pledge thee my faith."
I stood, and with tears in my eyes, I continued, "If you accept this pledge of my love and devotion, will you return the rings?" I held out my left hand with the hope they would be returned.
Thankfully and without hesitation, he replied, "Yes, Alice, You are the love of my life. I accept your pledge, and this ring, I return to you with its unending circle, which symbolizes my everlasting love for you. Placing this ring on your finger fulfills my dreams to have you as my friend, my love, my wife, to live as one forever."
He then slipped my wedding band and the engagement ring onto my finger. "You scared me when you removed and handed me your rings. Now come here and kiss your fool."
I stepped forward as we embraced. "Aaron, love, I'm the fool." He kissed me softly at first and then with a growing intensity. His lips, so tender and warm, met my trembling lips; such was the excitement the kiss evoked within me. This kiss sealed our bond, and I returned it with equal fervor.
Stacy and Ann cleared and cleaned up after the meal. As they prepared to leave, Stacy handed me a gift-wrapped box and said to open it privately. Nick reminded us to call him for our return flight at the end of the week. With hugs and congratulations, we called it a night.
We stood out front and waved goodbye to the trio that helped us through this mess I created and ultimately saved my marriage to the remarkable man who stood beside me.