As I promised, on Thursday evening at exactly seven pm, I phoned Clare.

As I dialled, I hoped that she had remembered my call as I didn’t want to talk to her mum and explain who I was. I thought that would be a little awkward.

Happily, Clare was waiting by the phone and picked up quickly. It was nice to hear her voice and not her mum’s. I also thought it was good to know that she remembered my call, though I did wonder if it was more down to her not wanting to explain my call to her mum, than hearing from yours truly. At that moment, I slightly leaned more towards the first thought, rather than the latter.

We made arrangements to meet again on Monday but at six-fifteen, as I could not get there any earlier because of work. The only difference this time was Clare asked for me to pick her up at a different spot, this time on the main road near the park. It was away from her house, as she didn’t want to bump into her parents as they usually got home at about that time.

It felt very clandestine but at this early stage of our courtship, we didn’t want to make any family ripples. My wish for two girlfriends was new and unlikely, and Clare had shown no commitment to me past our Monday night date.

We discussed what she was going to be doing at the weekend and she told me that on Friday she will be out with Jaz and Saturday night she probably stay over at Alan’s, maybe Friday as well.

“It depends on how that night goes,” Clare then added and as she did, I could feel her cheeky grin coming down the phone line.

It made me smile.

I knew and now accepted that Clare often cheated on Alan. But perhaps, if she got lucky on Friday night; she was, for the first time, also cheating on me!

It felt strange, that she was happy to tell me she was looking to have sex with another man on Friday night. Yet she had never once mentioned to Alan, her current boyfriend, the need to change their home sexual activities. Though on the plus side for Alan, it did sound like he was going to be at least Friday night’s first reserve, which was more than me. 

Clare and I were more than friends, yet not quite a girlfriend and boyfriend. I felt as if we were in transition, our mutual attraction peeling Clare slowly away from Alan. While at the same time, I was trying my best to hold onto Sarah, and currently, I had both my arms tightly wrapped around her.   

I had wanted to say to Clare, “I can offer my Friday night services,” but since Tuesday I had started to feel closer to Sarah, even with my instant attraction to Clare. That talk with Sarah, and the fact that she was obviously in love with me, had made me think about what we had together. Though I noted, Sarah had still never used the L-word with me.

I had asked myself several times an important question. Could I also be in love with Sarah?

It was a question that I now knew the answer to, it was a definite yes.

But the bigger question was, why I hadn’t felt it sooner; before Majorca, before Clare.

Clare asked me how it went Tuesday night, and I told her that Sarah now knows about her and was a little upset. I didn’t go into detail. However, with time she would be okay if I went out occasionally with Clare. But on one condition, to the world, Sarah remained my girlfriend. Not Clare.

As I said it out loud for the first time, I realised it was hard to believe, but it was the truth and I told Clare. But I was not confident about the situation, it was still very fluid.

I then somewhat arrogantly added. “Clare, good communication is everything, as I want to date both of you. I do know if we date, it will not be exclusive. As I accept you want to see others.”

I was still trying to come to terms with the last part of that sentence but I knew that with Clare, I had no choice. That much was now very clear to me.

There was silence from the other end of the line, Clare was thinking and she answered in a quiet steady voice, “Do not forget that I have a boyfriend, so might not be available.”

I smiled, it was an honest reply, but even if you took me out of the equation; I was pretty sure that it was only a matter of time before Alan became part of Clare’s history. Though to be fair, I had not yet met him, so I could be wrong. It was I just had that feeling from what Clare had said the other night.

“David, I am surprised Sarah is willing to share you,” Clare then suddenly stated.

I was surprised too, but I had to correct Clare as Sarah was reluctantly sharing me while thinking about our future. That last part was far from being decided.

So I said, “She not willing, Clare. She just will accept it at the moment, while we are sorting out our future and when I say our future. I am talking about me and you, and me and Sarah not just Sarah and me.”

I paused, and then quietly continued as I gathered my thoughts. I had not been expecting this conversation until I next saw Clare.

“I was surprised too that she did not just dump me when she heard that I had cheated on her.”

“I am so pleased she didn’t,” I then somewhat bashfully added.  

I was aware that I was now sharing my feelings towards Sarah with Clare and I knew I shouldn’t, but at that moment they were still raw, and I found that I just couldn’t help it. I needed to get them out.

I was treading water, trying to save what I had, but also add something exciting and new, but socially forbidden.

“Clare, there is something else.”

I wanted to get it all out there and I was realising that it was easier on the telephone than in person.

“I not planning to give Sarah up, as I realise I have feelings for her. Maybe even strong feelings for her.” 

Clare laughed, which was not the reaction I was expecting!

“David, please do not give up Sarah for me, as I told you. I might not be available, and I certainly do not want an exclusive relationship. I want you to carry on seeing Sarah.” 

I smiled, though I was not sure it was the answer I wanted. This was all so new to me, but I felt that I had gotten lucky and both Clare and Sarah had let me off the hook, though for completely different reasons.

With that, we said our goodbyes and hung up knowing it would have to wait until Monday evening. I would not see Clare before then and I planned to further discuss, we needed our lives to move forward.

However, Monday seemed so far off, and by then, I wasn’t sure I would still be with Sarah.  

I had to get going as I was going over to see Sarah. I needed to spend as much time as possible with her. Above all, I needed to repair the damage I had done to our relationship and I just hoped that was possible.

For some reason which I was still trying to fully understand, since Tuesday’s conversation, I was more drawn than ever towards Sarah. Yes, there was the growing realisation that I had fallen in love with her, but it was more than that. I knew it was brought on by the changes in her demeanour and then her confession.

I may not have shown my emotion to Sarah, but her confession had truly upset me. I needed to be there for her, understand her, and at the same time try to be a better person. I now understood this was all part of growing up and relationships and maybe I had miss judged Sarah. I now realised there was a lot more to Sarah than I had previously appreciated.

I had been too dumb and immature to realise, my only excuse was that Sarah was my first true long-term relationship. Though I was still a little confused and I asked myself, why do I lust after Clare when I have Sarah?

It was a question I was still finding the answer to.

The truth was, though I now realised that I loved Sarah but I just did not know exactly how I felt about our possible long-term future together if there was no Clare.

It was something I was desperately trying to understand and hopefully work out. Tonight was going to be the start of healing the damage that I had done to Sarah and my relationship. Not just patching it up, it needed to be a full repair.

The way I currently saw our fluid relationships was as follows…

Sarah loved for me, truly loved me, but also needed my love and support, as she broke free from those horrible memories of her recent past. We now had a history together. We were a couple and we both knew we were good for one another, and importantly, that we love one another. Though I had noted, that neither of us had said those three magic words, I love you. 

As for Clare, there was a deep mutual attraction and it was a force that I still didn’t understand. How she seemed to know what I was thinking, yet we had spent so little time together. Clare called the force lust, but I knew it was more than just that.

Clare didn’t want to have an exclusive relationship with me, she had powerful urge’s to carry on sleeping around, openly seeing men, boyfriend or no boyfriend. It was a thought I was still dealing with, especially as it played into my deepest sexual fantasy; that I quite liked the idea of sharing a girlfriend sexually with other people.

But then there was reality and fantasy, as life moved on. Did I want the deep-seated sexual fantasy to become a reality?

It was an unanswered question.

First, I needed to see Sarah, look after her; start to repair the damage and then, very soon, have that frank and open discussion about our future together.

*****

The rest of the week and the whole of the weekend I spent with Sarah and I was giving her all my attention as I managed to put thoughts of Clare into the back of my mind. 

We were successfully able to readjust and for me, Sarah was still my loving girlfriend and I was her loving boyfriend. We had once again become a normal couple, there was simply no Clare. She was not discussed.

It was not until Sunday evening when we left the local pub, “The Bat and Ball,” after a pleasant evening with our friends that I mentioned to Sarah that I was seeing Clare the following night.

Sarah went a little ridged as she was in my arms at the time. A moment went by as she looked at me before saying. “Okay,” but nothing more.

That worried me.

Mentioning Clare’s name had not been easy for me either. We had been having such a lovely time.

Sarah was still my Sarah but it was different since our confessions of Tuesday night. It felt like we were closer and as one. I was now sure that if I didn’t want to carry on seeing Clare, a full repair would have already been well on its way.

I wanted to see Clare tomorrow, I wanted not only to see her I wanted to have her as my girlfriend; have sex with her. Sarah now knew that.

We still had not had that meaningful, open discussion. We weren’t ready.

But even with my lack of relationship understanding, I was sure that Sarah had things still bottled up deep inside her and we needed that talk.

One thing I did know for certain and this was not my cock talking. I wanted both Sarah and Clare to be my girlfriends, and in my small alpha male mind, I just hoped that might just be possible! 

We sat in my car for a few moments and I waited as I thought Sarah would say something about Clare, but she didn’t, so I reach across and kissed her. 

Surprisingly, she kissed me back and we broke apart I gently spoke to her. I wanted to say something poignant. It was something which I had been thinking about ever since Sarah had told me the truth about losing the baby and the depression that followed, and this time I was speaking from my heart.

“Sarah, I do know you must love me very much as you are letting me see another woman and possibly date her one day, but she is not your rival. I promise with all my heart that I will never leave you and I hope we stay together, possibly forever.”

As I softly spoke, I meant every word. I needed my Sarah but the bigger question was, did she still want me?

I carefully continued, knowing this was a big suggestion.

“Sometime, and maybe a long time in the future I want you and Clare to meet and hopefully become friends.”

While I honestly hoped this could happen, I only thought that this would be possible if I kept Clare as a casual friend. I wanted Sarah and Clare to be friends, not as Sarah currently thought, rivals.

“Have you talked to Lisa about this?”

As I said those words, I had no idea what Lisa would say. All I knew was she was a very good friend to Sarah and her confidant.

Sarah sat there for a few seconds looking away from me out the car side window. She wasn’t crying, that had to be a good thing I thought. I knew this was incredibly hard for her and as seemed to be my new way, I was being a complete ass.

“No, and I am not sure if I will,” Sarah softly muttered in a sad voice. “At least for a while, as I need to understand where this is going, if anywhere.”

I was not too sure exactly what she meant by that but I let it lie as I had said enough, and maybe even too much. However, there was one more I wanted to ask her.

“Have you got a passport?”

It was the same question that Mark had asked me that lead me to Majorca and ultimately Clare. This time I was hoping the question would help repair the damage to our relationship caused after the first time those words had been spoken.

Sarah questionably looked round at me and said in a slightly stronger voice.

“Yes, but I have never used it.”

“I want to take you away on holiday, just the two of us. Somewhere that is nice and hot with a sandy beach.”

Sarah weakly smiled and it was enough for me to carry on.

“I have not yet looked to book anything as I thought it would be more fun if we looked together. Do you think you can get time off in early September when the schoolchildren have gone back to school?”

Sarah smiled again, this time it was stronger.

“I have to ask but I think it will be okay,” Sarah replied, her voice now returning to normal.

I did not want this to sound like this was a reward for letting me see Clare; I just felt that we needed this as a couple. I also knew Sarah did not have much money and I did not want this to worry her.

So I added. “Do not worry about the cost as I want to pay for everything. It will be our first holiday together as a couple.”

As I said this I smiled, though I still felt empty inside. I wanted Sarah happy and importantly, still to be with me.

Sarah was now smiling and she leaned across and hugged me, before kissing me including using her tongue. I knew there be no sex tonight as Sarah’s period had started the Wednesday before but in all honestly all I wanted, was to keep her love. I needed her love.

We made arrangements to start looking for the holiday at the earliest opportunity which was next Friday afternoon. Sarah only worked the mornings and Fridays were always an optional day for me. Whether I went in or not was my decision, I just had to give a day’s notice.

The pub car park was now empty apart from the odd car, their owners, probably having decided to walk home rather than drive whilst over the alcohol limit. 

We were alone, darkness all around us.

Sarah kissed me again and put her hand on my thigh before working it up to rest on my rapidly hardening cock. She kissed me before working her mouth down to my neck and I thought for a moment that she was going to give me a love bite and mark her territory but no. She continued her journey downwards and I felt my zipper being undone on my trousers fly. I smiled and thought, this is a risky spot for any type of sex but this was the new evolving Sarah.

She then pulled my rapidly hardening, uncircumcised cock out of my boxers and her head went down. I pushed my driver’s seat back to give her more room. In the dark, I felt her lips surrounding my cock and she then gave it a gentle kiss before engulfing the end of it.

Sarah worked her tongue around my mushroom head, my foreskin pull back by her hand. Sarah’s head started to bob up and down working my hard cock to make me cum. She was so good at this, well trained by Jerry, and it made me start to wonder what else they had got up to.

Those wicked thoughts aroused me and I soon felt my balls begin to tighten. I was going to cum. I warned Sarah, but she always swallowed. It was more out of courtesy that I let her know.

“Orghhhh,” I could not keep quiet as my spunk spurted into her mouth and down the back of her throat. One, two, three squirts, she swallowed it all. That had always been her way. It was a hint to a sexual life that had gone before me with her previous boyfriend Jerry. He was a person who I still didn’t know much about and nothing at all before last Tuesday.

After one last lick, she tucked my wilting cock back into my boxer shorts and very carefully zipped me back up. I grinned at Sarah. I was like the cat that had just got the cream, though in this case, it was Sarah who had my cream.

“You owe me some good oral sex mister,” Sarah whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek.

All I could think was I heard those exact words before, and not long ago from Clare. Then it occurred to me, that perhaps Sarah and Clare were not so different after all. I hoped.

“Let’s keep a rain check on that,” I quickly said. We both smiled, as there was no way I was going down on her during Sarah’s period, even if it was nearly finished.

With a readjustment of my driver’s seats and I drove off and dropped Sarah back home. Waiting for her to be safely inside before driving home; that cat's grin was still on my face.

I felt as though my life with Sarah wasn’t now stalled. Yes, we had things to discuss; big elephant-sized things. But as I drove, I felt in a better place, that Sarah and I were still a couple.

As our lives were now, once again, moving forward…